Yehuda HaLevi: Supplication for Yom Kippur (From Medieval Hebrew)

Supplication for Yom Kippur
By Yehuda HaLevi
Translated by A.Z. Foreman
(For Michael Leibowitz)

Lord here before You is all my desire,1
    Even if it does not go past my lips.    
Grant me your grace one moment, and I'll die
    The next if you will only grant my wish.
I will commit my spirit to Your hands,2
    And sleep. That final sleep would be delight.
When I am far from You, my life is death
    But clinging close to you, that death is life.3
But I don't know what offerings to bring,
    What service I should give, what prayers to try.
Instruct me in Your ways. Deliver me
    From slavery to foolery and lies.
Teach me now, while there still is strength in me
    To suffer with. Do not dispise my plight.
Before I am a burden to myself,
    And feel limb weigh on heavy limb in time,
Before I yield against my will and bones
    Collapse in canker and my strength expires,
Before I travel where my fathers traveled  
    And find their resting place, and make it mine.
I am a foreigner on this earth's face
    Deep in her womb is where my real home lies.
My youth till now has done whatever pleased it
    When shall I too provide for me and mine? 
The world of pleasures He placed in my heart
    Kept me from keeping my own end in mind.
How can I serve my Maker as a captive
    To nature’s lust, in slavery to desire?
How can I strive for high rank, when the rank
    Worm is to be my sister in due time? ,4
How can my heart rise happily today
    Not knowing what tomorrow will arise?
The nights and days joined forces in a pact
    To eat my flesh together as they fly.
They'll spirit half of me away on wind,
    The rest of me to dust they will unwind.
My passions like a foe with grudges hound me
    From youth to withered age. What more to try?  
What is Time to me but Your will and favor?
    And if not with You, what on earth am I?
Here I stand naked, stripped, virtue-denuded,
    My only covering Your justice and kindness.
So why's my tongue still jabbering and pleading? 
    Lord here before You is all my desire.

Notes:

1- c.f. Psalms 38:10 Lord, all my desire is before Thee; and my sighing is not hid from Thee.
2- c.f. Psalms 31:6 Into Thy hand I commit my spirit; Thou hast redeemed me, O LORD, Thou God of truth.
3- c.f. Berakhoth 18a-b, where the wicked are called dead while living, and the virtuous called living while dead.
4. c.f. Job 17:14 If I have said to corruption: 'Thou art my father', to the worm: 'Thou art my mother, and my sister'

The Original:


אֲדֹנָי! נֶגְדְּךָ כָל‑ תַּאֲוָתִי
יהודה הלוי
يهوذا اللاوي

אֲדֹנָי! נֶגְדְּךָ כָל‑ תַּאֲוָתִי,   וְאִם לֹא אַעֲלֶנָּה עַל שְׂפָתִי.
רְצוֹנְךָ אֶשְׁאֲלָה רֶגַע ‑ וְאֶגְוָע,   וּמִי יִתֵּן וְתָבוֹא שֱׁאֶלָתִי,
וְאַפְקִיד אֶת‑ שְׁאָר רוּחִי בְּיָדְךָ   וְיָשַׁנְתִּי וְעָרְבָה לי שְׁנָתִי!
בְּרָחְקִי מִמְּךָ – מוֹתִי בְחַיָּי,   וְאִם אֶדְבַּק בְּךָ – חַיַּי בְּמוֹתִי,
אֲבָל לֹא אֵדְעָה בַּמֶה אֲקַדֵּם,   וּמַה תִּהְיֶה עֲבֹדתִי וְדָתִי.
דְּרָכֶיךָ, אֲדֹנָי, לַמְּדֵנִי,   וְשׁוּב מִמַּאֲסַר סִכְלוּת שְׁבוּתִי,
וְהוֹרֵנִי בְעוֹד יֶשׁ‑ בִּי יְכֹלֶת   לְהִתְעַנּוֹת, וְאַל תִּבְזֶה עֱנוּתִי,
בְּטֶרֶם יוֹם אֱהִי עָלַי לְמַשָּׂא,   וְיוֹם יִכְבַּד קְצָתִי עַל קְצָתִי,
וְאִכָּנַע בְּעַל כָּרְחִי, וְיֹאכַל   עֲצָמַי עָשׁ וְנִלְאוֹ מִשְּׂאֵתִי,
וְאֶסַּע אֶל מְקוֹם נָסְעוּ אֲבוֹתָי,   וּבִמְקוֹם תַּחֲנוֹתָם תַּחֲנוֹתִי.
כְּגֵר תּוֹשָׁב אֲנִי עַל גַּב אֲדָמָה,   וְאוּלָם כִּי בְּבִטְנָהּ נַחֲלָתִי.
נְעוּרַי עַד הֲלֹם עָשׂוּ לְנַפְשָׁם,   וּמָתַי גַּם אֲנִי אֶעֱשֶׂה לְבֵיתִי?
וְהָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר נָתַן בְּלִבִּי   מְנָעַנִי לְבַקֵּשׁ אַחֲרִיתִי!
וְאֵיכָה אֶעֱבֹד יוֹצְרִי – בְּעוֹדִי   אֲסִיר יִצְרִי וְעֶבֶד תַּאֲוָתִי?
וְאֵיכָה מַעֲלָה רָמָה אֲבַקֵּשׁ –   וּמָחָר תִּהְיֶה רִמָּה אֲחוֹתִי!
וְאֵיךְ יִיטַב בְּיוֹם טוֹבָה לְבָבִי,   וְלֹא אֵדַע – הֲיִיטַב מָחֳרָתִי?
וְהַיָּמִים וְהַלֵּילוֹת עֲרֵבִים   לְכַלּוֹת אֶת­‑ שְׁאֵרִי עַד כְּלוֹתִי.
וְלָרוּחַ יְזָרוּן מַחֲצִיתִי,   וּלֶעָפָר יְשִׁיבוּן מַחֲצִיתִי.
וּמַה אֹמַר – וְיִצְרִי יִרְדְּפֵנִי   כְּאוֹיֵב מִנְּעוּרַי עַד בְּלוֹתִי?
וּמַה לִּי בַּזְמָן – אִם לֹא רְצוֹנְךָ?   וְאִם אֵינְךָ מְנָתִי ‑ מַה מְנָתִי?
אֲנִי מִמַּעֲשִׂים שׁוֹלָל וְעָרוֹם   וְצִדְקָתְךָ לְבַדָּהּ הִיא כְסוּתִי –
וְעוֹד מָה אַאֲרִיךְ לָשׁוֹן וְאֶשְׁאַל!   אֲדֹנָי, נֶגְדְּךָ כָל‑ תַּאֲוָתִי!

Romanization:


ǎðonai neɣdǎxa kol ta’ǎwaθi
wǐ’im lo aʕǎlenna ʕal sǎfaθi
rǎṣonxa eš’ǎla reɣaʕ wě’eɣwaʕ
umi yitten wǎθabo še’ělaθi
wǎ’afqið eθ šǎ’ar ruħi bǐyaðxa
wǐyašanti wǎʕarba li šǎnaθi!
bǎraħqi mimmǎxa moθi bǎħayyay,
  wǐ’im aðbaq bǎxa ħayyay bǎmoθi,
ǎbal lo eðǎʕa bamma ǎqaddem,
uma tihye ʕǎboðaθi wǎðaθi.
Dǎraxéxa, ǎðonay, lamměðeni,
wǎšub mimma’ǎsar sixluθ šǎbuθi,
wǔhoréni bǔʕoð yeš bi yǎxoleθ
lǐhiθʕannoθ wǎ’al tibze ʕěnuθi
bǎṭerem yom ěhi ʕale lǎmassa
wǐyom yixbað qǎṣaθi ʕal qǎṣaθi,
wě’ekkanaʕ bǎʕal karħi, wǐyoxal
ʕǎṣamay ʕaš wǎnil’u missě’eθi,
wě’essaʕ el mǎqom nasʕu ǎboθay
ǔbimqom taħǎnoθam taħǎnoθi.
kǎɣer tošab ǎni ʕal gab ǎðama
wǔ’ulam ki bǎbiṭna naħǎlaθi
nǔʕuray ʕað hǎlom ʕasu lǎnafšam,
umaθái gam ǎni ěʕse lǎbeθi?
wǎhaʕolam ǎšer naθan bǎlibbi
mǎnaʕani lǎbaqqeš aħǎriθi
wě’exa eʕěboð yoṣri bǔʕoði
ǎsir yiṣri wěʕebeð ta’ǎwaθi?
wě’exa maʕǎla rama ǎbaqqeš
umaħar tihye rimma ǎħoθi?
wě’ex yiyṭab bǐyom ṭoba lǎbabi,
wǎlo eðaʕ - hǎyiyṭab maħǎraθi?
wǎhayyamim wǎhalleloθ ʕǎrebim
lǎxalloθ eθ šě’eri ʕað kǎloθi,
wǎlaruaħ yǎzerun maħǎṣiθi,
wǎleʕafar yǎšibun maħǎṣiθi.
uma omer wǐyiṣri yirdǎfeni
kǔ’oyeb minnǔʕuray ʕað bǎloθi?
uma li bazǎman - im lo rǎṣonxa?
wǐ’im enxa mǎnaθi ma mǎnaθi?
ani mummaʕǎsim šolal wǎʕarom
wǎṣiðqaθxa lǎbadda hi xǎsuθi.
wǔʕoð ma a’ǎrix lašon wě’eš’al?
ăðonay, neɣdǎxa kol ta’ǎwaθi.

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